. | January 4, 2010Once a year the Grassy Knoll Institute gathers our psychic abilities and much like Nostradamus did over 500 years ago, we peer into the future to reveal 50 predictions for the 2010 year. What follows may shock you, may make you laugh and cry, and is probably down right false. However, in 2009, I correctly predicted Brett Favre coming out of retirement, The Yankee’s winning the World Series and the breakup of Tony Roma and Jessica Simpson. In Hollywood, I predicted the Death of Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ted Kennedy, and of course the Lindasy Lohan breakup,. Plus many more successful predictions.
Lets see how good my clairvoyant powers fare for the 2010 year. Check back regularly as predictions come true or fall short.
1 Jonathan Frid, the legendary Barnabus Collins, the 200-year-old vampire, from the 1960’s soap opera Dark Shadows, finally dies.
2 Johnny Depp moves forward on a revival epic tale of Dark Shadows, and uses a small film footage of Jonathan Frid before he passed away.
3. Hugh Hefner, Playboy founder dies. He dies happy.
4. Kate Hudson rekindles her romance with Owen Wilson.
5. Lady Gaga, one of the top entertainers of 2009 and rumored to be a man, is revealed to be total woman.
6. Ryan Seacrest, forever a bachelor, and perhaps the hardest working celebrity in Hollywood, finds the time to get engaged.
7. Contrary to popular opinion, Tiger Woods gets divorced. Elin tee’s off on his fortune and takes him to the cleaners by utilizing a loophole in the pre-nup agreement she signed.
8. Michael Jackson will be named the father of a child and irrefutable proof will be offered. He will contest the will.
9. David Hasselhoff, Star of Knight Rider and Baywatch, is committed to rehab for alcohol poisoning. Somebody get that mana cheeseburger.
10. The New York Yankees repeat and win the World Series.
11. The Boston Celtics win the NBA Championship.
12. The Minnesota Vikings led by Brett Favre wins the Super Bowl.
13. Brett Favre contemplates retirement once more, but comes back for 2010 to play for the Vikings.
14. The NHL downsizes, eliminates several non profitable teams.
15. Ford Motor Company becomes America’s #1 car dealer.
16. Ashley Simpson, sister to Jessica and Fall Out Boy Pete Wentz get divorced.
17. ABC Lost secret is revealed to be…..
Although it appears the survivors of Oceanic flight 815 are on a tropical island, they are being deceived. There is no island. The survivors are in a virtual reality laboratory. All the castaways are interconnected to one another sharing each others thoughts, memories, and feelings. While in this virtual reality laboratory, a battery of physical and mental experiments are performed on them. And who is running these experiments? As Juliet stated, the Aliens of course.
18. Kim Kardashian gets married. No one cares.
19. Labron James, Cleveland Cavaliers all star, leaves for greener pastures.
20. Snoop Dog gets busted and is sentenced to jail time.
21. Tim Tebow, Florida quarterback, Heisman trophy winner, drops out of the top 20 picks in the 2010 NFL draft.
22. Angelina and Brad Pitt, the most powerful Hollywood couple, split up. Her lips are not to blame. This time!
23. Jon and Kate plus the eight children, both strapped for cash, reconcile to continue the popular reality cable program. Ratings are through the roof.
24. Elizabeth Alexandra Mary, The Queen of England Dies. Charles is finally in charge.
25. Kevin Federline goes on a strict diet and loses a ton of weight.
26. With his new weight loss physique, Kevin Federline is offered a TV pilot.
27. An Aids cure and vaccine is announced, stem cell replacement is the major component psychic hotlines to the cure. Human trials begin at the end of the year.
28. The Alabama Crimson Tide wins the BCS Championship defeating Texas.
29. Tara Reid, after getting a boob tune up, actually gets hired for a movie role.
30. Ringo Starr, drummer for the legendary 1960’s rock band, The Beatles, dies. Ironically, that leaves only Paul McCartney, who if you recall, was rumored to be dead, killed in a car crash.
31. Sarah Palin, author of Going Rogue, and oh yea, former Governor of Alaska, has a nipple slip moment. The photo runs wild on the Internet. It only helps to boost her ratings.
32. Khloe Kardashian gets divorced. Who couldn’t have predicted this?
33. Terrel Owens leaves the Bills. Claims he wants to play for a winner.
34. David Letterman gets divorced after past digressions catch up to him.
35. Carrie Prejean, controversial former Miss California, gets offered a reality TV series role. Donald Trump has nothing to do with it.
36. Tila Tequila, becomes insignificant. Oh wait, that already happened.
37. The Martian Landers, originally only manufactured to operate for 90 days, went into overtime and worked for years sending back data to Earth until both landers shut down. However, one of the landers will miraculously turn back on and beam starling photos back to Earth.
38. The US economy rebounds, albeit slowly as unemployment numbers go down and housing and construction go on the rise.
39. President Obama jump starts the economy with a rapid transit initiative setting in motion thousands of construction and fabricating jobs as the nations railroad is rebuilt.
40. Party crashers like Tareq and Michaele Salahi, attempt to crash an Obama party. The secret service confirming a threat, kills one, wounds another. A strong message is sent.
41. Kim Jong II, ruler of North Korea, succumbs from his illness and dies.
42. Billy Graham, TV evangelist, really talks to God this time, meets his maker.
43. Mickey Rooney goes to the big Our Gang in the sky. (He dies)
44. Scientists, through the use of powerful telescopes will discover a planet that could sustain life.
45. Michael Lohan, father to actress Lindsay, crosses the line once to many times, spends time in jail.
46. Lindsay Lohan switches teams yet again, and begins dating again, to a man…
47. Pink, rock star, separates from her hubby Cory Hart yet again.
48. Susan Boyle, singer, dreams a dream, gets engaged.
49. Roman Polanski gets dragged back to the states to face rape charges from 1973.
50. Barack Obama is not immuned to sex scandals. A woman will come forward and claim to have bore a son and Obama is the father.
There you have it folks. 50 shocking psychic predictions for 2010 from the Grassy Knoll Institute. Check back weekly to see my updates throughout the year as my predictions come to fruition. Or heavens forbid, turn out to be wrong.
Happy New year!
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